Inventory Specialist

No one told me when I had kids

that I would become

an Inventory Specialist

who worked the swing shift


No one said I would always know

how many cookies are in the box

how much toilet paper is on the roll

and how much milk is in the refrigerator

or that I would remember the date it expires


I think about a job interview someday in my future.

“One shake of a cereal box, Sir,

and I'll know the exact number of servings.”


No one mentioned

when I had kids

that I would become

a chronic list maker

who always has a pen and paper


Or that I would announce to my children

what I already know

So they don't remind me

again and again and again


Bananas

Paper towel

Ice cream

Licorice


I contemplate alphabetical order

more than I should


But what I really don't get

is why no one confessed

when I had kids

what I would absolutely know for certain:


That there will never,

ever,

be enough wine.

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